Shika's Hair Problem
by Candy House
Summary: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE FAMOUS PONYTAIL GOES DOWN? WEIRD STUFF! WARNINGS: no yaoi but its a yaoi comedy.


Disclaimer: Sawks: Well, here's something different a story about Shikamaru!

Sadly, we don't own any of the characters…or Shikamaru's hair.

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**Shika's Hair Problem**

Shikamrau sighed.

Droplets of water rained on the tiled floor, as the remaining steam escaped through the sliver of a window opening in his small bathroom.

It was early afternoon, and of course, being Shikamaru, he hadn't bothered to haul his ass out of bed until past noon. Figuring that it had been a while since he'd actually taken the time to bathe himself; he decided to take a shower. Carefully he undid his famous pineapple ponytail, which was stiff from god-knows-what, and stepped in.

Now he looked at his reflection in his clouded mirror; wiping away the steam in circular sweeps with his palm. His eyes widened at what he saw. His hair, normally tied high up on his head, was hanging limp on his face and sticking to his cheeks; saturated in water.

"Humph." Shikamaru grumbled. _Maybe I should just shave it off…_

Taking a dry towel, he squeezed some of the water out; making his hair look like a stiff, shiny, sleek board. Taking his fingers to his scalp, he shook his locks in irritation. _I can't remember my hair ever being this troublesome…hey wait, have I ever washed my hair before? _Being a very intelligent person, Shikamaru figured that his hair would dry out eventually right? So maybe then he can restrain it a little when it's not all slippery.

Walking back into his room, he dressed normally; his monotonous routine only disrupted by his hair swinging back and forth in his face. _Okay now this is getting annoying..._ He went back to his bathroom again and reached for the hair-band he left on his sink. Just putting his hair up...like he always does..._SNAP_

"Crap..."

He searched through his cabinets and drawers and even on the floor of his bedroom for a second but found nothing. _That was my last hair band… I hate troublesome days like this... _He grabbed some money and headed out the door, not the slightest clue what he and his hair had in store that day.

_**Walking Down the Streets of Konoha**_

" Nara Shikamaru..." A voice called to him, Shika turned to see the white-ninja staring at him with his usual stern expression.

"Hyuga Neji…uh hey," Shikamaru replied. _Why would he wanna talk to me..?_

Shika, lost in his thoughts, wasn't prepared at all for what was to come; until Neji, without hesitation, walked up to him and started running his fingers through Shikamaru's hair.

"Your hair is soft…what conditioner do you use?"

_...What….? _"Uh…nothing, just shampoo… and sweat and all that crap…"

"Wow, and it turns out so well…" Neji continued, "I use Paul Mitchell myself, it helps restore all the damage my hair goes through on missions..."

Shika stood there in shock and as Neji continued to say nonsense (to him at least) about hair and styling products, still running with his hair and occasionally flipping his own over his shoulder. _Hey…this reminds me of something Ino told me about Neji the other day..._

"…and I could even lend you some, I know it would do wonders for you hair..." Neji continued, winking.

_Gawd, I must have been ignoring her again, it was some gossip she heard…what was it..? Something about Neji being a…_

"And maybe…" Neji said, giving Shika the eye. He leaned forward and began whispering in his ear," Maybe I can help you put it in" He said, being incredibly flirtatious

_...man-whore… _Shika thought to himself as he turned and RAN.

_**Passing the Open Markets**_

Taking a minute to recover from his encounter with Neji, Shikamru calmed down, and continued his mission.

He strolled past the vendors selling their items down the alleyways of Konoha. The air was filled with the smells of fresh—and not so fresh—produce and meat. Large woks of hot oil bubbled and spit as they anticipated the food that was to be placed in them. In addition to the wide variety of edible things, people sold a lot of goods here; clothes, jewelry, random crap like that.

_Maybe I can find a hair-tie here for cheap…_Shikamaru was just wandering between the merchants until he heard someone inhale deeply behind him.

Shikamaru turned around, coming face to face with Chouji, who happened to be SMELLING HIS HAIR????

"WHAT THE HELL?" he screamed, and then tried again, "Uh, Hello….?"

"Huh?" Chouji seemed to snap out of his daze, "Oh, hey Shika, Your hair smells wonderful today…" he said, grinning.

Shikamaru was suspicious of his grin. It was one of those smiles that Chouji always wore when he sat in front of a large buffet of food…

"Your hair…" Chouji continued, "Is smells so…exotic…like…watermelon and fried oysters…"

Shikamaru's eyes shot WIDE open.

_What the EFF? Fried Oysters? What is up with this guy?_

"Uh, Chouji," he started, "Maybe you're just smelling the air around us…we are in a market…"

"No, Its YOU." Chouji replied. "Would you mind if I took a sample of it to keep with me?"

"WHAT? You wanna cut my HAIR?"

"Just a little piece," he reassured, "Just so that I may be able to smell your wonderful food-smelling locks…"

_NO FUCKING WAY. _Shikamaru didn't even respond. He just got the hell out of there.

_Maybe I can get a hair tie in that store by that store through the park..._

_**Walking through the Park**_

Now he was getting impatient, so Shika started to jog through the trails in the park. A second later, Shika tripped on something and nearly landed flat on his face, "WHAT the... oh hey Akamaru…" He found the dog tangled underneath his legs and struggling to jump up toward him. Shika stood and backed up; afraid it was going to bite his head off or something it he got up too high.

"AKAMARU!!" What the hell are you doin-" Kina stopped dead in his tracks while approaching, he stared at Shikamaru.

"Hey Kiba, what's wrong with Akamaru?"

"Shika, why the heck is your hair down…and WET?" Kiba said completely ignoring Shika's question.

"Oh, I just took a shower, and then my hair tie broke, so I-"

"Na don't put it up…" Kiba said, smiling mischievously.

"…what?"

"I've always had a thing for wet hair. It makes your hair look longer, like a dog when it gets wet" he replied, drawing closer and smirking a bit, revealing his canine teeth.

_No...Not him too…_

"Shikamaru, you're such a sexy dog!" Kiba said, laughing.

_Something blew up, and everybody inhaled some crazy-ass methane today. How is it possible for ALL of them too...and yet AGAIN I have to run. _Shika thought, and began sprinting.

"Aw, come on Shika! Hey lets shower _together _sometime I wanna see your HAIR SOAKING WET!!" Kiba called after him.

_**A Few Miles Away**_

_Shit…this day is starting to wear me out…how troublesome. _

He was about two or three miles away from the other end of the park, and bordering the trees of the immense forests of Konoha. Slowing down, he decided to take a rest and watch some clouds. _After all, at least clouds don't make suggestive comments on your hair…_He lay down on the grass and looked up at the vast blue sky filled with puffs of white clouds. Shika closed his eyes for a second, trying to push the events of the day out of his mind…listening to the whistling of the wind, the birds in the trees, the buzzing of the bees. Until a very peculiar sensation filled his scalp, causing him to jerk up and come face-to-face with Shino.

"Uh, hey." said Shikamaru, scratching his head forcefully.

"What are you doing to my bugs?" asked Shino.

"What, YOUR BUGS?" Shika's eyes grew wider "Where are they?" he asked, hoping to every deity ever known that they weren't where he thought they were…

"Yes, they were drawn to the sweet fibers on your head." Shino explained "I think they intend on making it a second home…"

"A SECOND WHAT?" he screamed.

"Yes, and to be honest I quite agree with them, your scalp is so very well-suited to housing critters such as mine, and maybe..." Shino leaned in "maybe we could become even closer through this predicament." He peered through his sunglasses into Shika's eyes.

"Excuse me!" Shikamaru yelled as he darted away.

_**Back On The Streets **_

Sighing, he slowed down as he exited the park and found himself back on the familiar street that lead to his apartment. It was dusk now, and fog was staring to roll in over the rooftops. Streetlights flickered and blinked as they turned on. Feeling tired, he stopped under a pool of light for a quick second to recap the days events.

_Damn, what a kooky day this has been. I've never been hit on like that before…_

Inhaling deeply, Shika threw his head back to look at the sky while running his fingers through his now dry, messy hair. _I never did get those hair ties. _Defeated and creeped out, Shikamaru climbed the stairs of his building. As he started to put his key in the lock, something caught his eye:

Tapped to the door was a note and a small plastic bag.

_**Shikamaru,**_

_**Just a little something to brighten your day…**_

_**I'm always thinking of you. **_

_**Love, **_

He couldn't really make out who it was from; the end of the paper had been torn, as if someone decided last minute to keep the note anonymous. Peering inside the bag, be smiled as he pulled out a brand new packet of hair ties.

Shika was relieved, and slightly upset that he couldn't meet his secret admirer, who would have been the only person who genuinely liked him (and not for his hair).

He shook the thoughts out of his head. "Enough of this," he said to himself. He led himself to his bed for a much needed mouth after running so much.

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Ending Notes: Candy: Wouldn't it be cool to have Shika's hair? 


End file.
